Boulder, CO, USA/Foothills (No, not the midwest!)
WhiteNess!!!
I’m blinded by the sharp stabs of White that are step ladders —
— ice picks that only give climb when blood drips.
Anger only makes the pace pick up —
— the fuel that farts gold metals pinned on bare GODS chests.
she smiles knowing his success is her manipulation taking effect.
I get tangled in the ice, cut off from where I am, sucked into an unwanted elimination,
waiting, loooonnnngggging for a transatlantic catapult.
not an escape….
meditate….
not an escape.
meditate.
not an escape?
meditate!
NOT AN ESCAPE.
MEDITATE.
NOT A……………
……………
I awake from under the trees with tentacles pouring out of my mouth. They take each word write it down then wad it up creating a pile I’ll never be able to climb.
I am IronMan
Awake, by definition. by eyes open. by body upright. by mind here? Heavy with fog that numbs the nerves causing chaos of miscommunication. Which plug goes where? Lines crossed or just dangling, makes no difference, there’s no-one at the end of the line. Plastic bags suck out the oxygen, killing the cells that once were vibrant, now, they are nothing. Not black. Not dead. Nothing. Heavy, floats my body expanding within bloat and the nothingness. I am no longer me. I am a creature of neither life, nor death. Full of pain and chills that zap, zAP, ZAP through one continental ocean past the depth and into the abyss. Confused by the knowing, avoiding what comes next, I think I gotta lay down, sleep furthers the numb. The electric blue reprograms the dangling lines melting me into the cushion, I’m now offline.
I Understand, Don’t
On the first visit, nothing happened. Went home to come back after dropping open. On the second visit, the war veteran pushed with all her stars and stripes. Blood and tears drip from the cheerleader who refuses to be a patient.
G! O! GO!
Be
Aggressive
B...E....
Aggressive B.E.A.G.G.R.E.s..s....i....v....EEEE!
Full collapse with a pat on the back. Is she excited for her failure that starts this shit all over again?
I should have learned. I should have known. Time can be a friend and sometimes time is just fucking time. A piece of shit is still a piece of shit, over time. With nurturing words that shit thrives, with no words it becomes worse than when we started. And yet, we never learn. I never learn.
Back in the saddle, this time we gots us an outdoorsy-man with a flavor for REI. He is as bland and boring as he tastes. With a flick of the cherry bomb sights pull, sounds vibrate, and all vanishes, including me. Death spirals into a lonely confusing embrace. Nestled within discomfort, the smell of her hot breath sneaks past, snuggling in the middle of my wild thoughts, reminding me to breathe. The gasp of air brings me back. As I come to, my thoughts domesticate and I think. This time, I really hope I’ve learned.